In my heart
by Jeah
Summary: Hermione loves Harry. Harry loves Hermione. But those two are too stubborn to tell how much they love each other. Find out what happens to those two! H+Hr.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
* I didn't have anything to do. I tried to continue my other stories but I can't so I just did another one. Hope you like it. *  
  
Author's Note: This is a one-shot fic. But if you want I could put up another chapter to conclude this.  
  
IN MY HEART.  
  
Hermione's POV  
  
Through all those years, you've been in my heart. First time I saw you, I was struck by something. It seems like there was a connection between us. At that very moment, I developed a liking for you but not that strong. I managed to put that aside as I welcome our friendship.  
  
Years had passed and I realized that my liking for was gone. It turned out that I fell in love with you. With you, I grew older. As I grew older, my love for you intensified. You were always the one able to see through me. I loved you not because of your fame, your money and anything else but because you are yourself. You always help people not even thinking what the consequences might be. You cared for everyone even those who you don't know.  
  
I was contented being by your side. I was contented being your friend but that was until you changed. Not mentally, but physically. I manage to ignore the pain whenever I feel jealous of those girls who can express their feelings for you. But everything changed. You've changed into a young man. Many have noticed you. Who wouldn't? With a face appropriate to be an actor in Hollywood, a body to die for, and that boyish grin you wear. Basically, you're perfect. I hid my feelings for you in a shell and placed it in the farthest corner of my heart. I managed though barely but then, she came to you.  
  
We were heading towards the Great Hall for breakfast when somebody tapped your shoulders.  
  
"Hi Harry!" Cho said flirtatiously. It has been a year after Cedric died. Cho changed a lot, from the innocent one, to the seductive type.  
  
"Ummm. Hi." Harry replied. Even though he changed, he still hadn't gone over stuttering when he sees Cho. He still has feelings for her.  
  
"Do you mind if I talk alone to Harry?" Cho asked not so kindly. She was really trying to hint that she didn't want me there.  
  
"O..Ok." I said reluctantly. I didn't want to leave Harry there but I know that he would really be happy if I leave.  
  
I went inside the Great Hall feeling empty. I knew what she wanted with you. She is going to ask you out. For me, I feel like it's a bit extreme for a girl to ask a boy out but like I've said earlier, Cho changed. Harry never went inside the Great Hall. I knew that while I was eating, he was having a snogging session with Cho. My feelings for him are eating me up. I so wanted to tell him how much I love him. Then maybe he'll break up with Cho. Ha! Not a chance. Who would want to break up with such a lovely girl like her and be with a bookworm like me? True. I also changed but not as apparent as Harry did. I just grew a little bit taller and I got a little bit slimmer. I also got rid of my bushy hair by straightening it. But even with my change, I'm still not enough to match Cho.  
  
I tried avoiding you but I didn't succeed.  
  
"Hey, Hermione!" Harry called.  
  
I ignored him and quickened my pace. He still persisted and tried to keep up with me. Eventually, he was able to catch me. He held my hand to stop me from running away from him again. I felt my breathing quicken. You were holding my hand. I felt like I was in heaven but my trance was broken when you spoke sadly.  
  
"Hermione, is there something I did that you didn't like?" Harry asked sadly.  
  
Here he is again. Thinking that he made something wrong. If only you knew how much I love you. If only you knew how much I hate to see you with Cho. But I can't tell him that. It would break our friendship.  
  
I looked him in his face to answer his question but I wasn't able to. His emerald green eyes captivated my attention once more. I wasn't able to speak but the sad glint told me to speak.  
  
"No. Nothing." I told him.  
  
"Then, why are you ignoring me?" he asked wondering if there was something going on.  
  
I gave him a weak smile. "I'm not ignoring you. I'm just having a lot of trouble doing all those stuff in Transfiguration."  
  
Really! Why do I have to say Transfiguration. I really am having a hard time in Transfiguration but I already know what he'll say about that.  
  
"Is there something I can do for you?" He asked.  
  
I knew it! He's so caring. That's one of the things that I love in him. Actually, I love everything in him but, Oh well!  
  
"Umm. no. I can manage." I said.  
  
"Ok. But if ever you need my help, just tell me and I'll be there." He grinned.  
  
Oh my god! Here he is again grinning at me. I knew I had to get out of that place right that instant or else he'll see me glowing bright red from blushing.  
  
"Ok! Gotta go! Bye!" I said hurriedly.  
  
From that day on, I never tried avoiding you again.  
  
I don't really know what more I can do. My feelings for you are so strong that I can't even think right. I was so stressed out by that but something more came.  
  
I was sitting in the Common Room alone when I saw Ron came down the staircase. I gave him a weak smile.  
  
"Can't sleep?" I asked. And to my horror, he blushed. Uh oh! I don't like this.  
  
"Yeah. You?" He asked while blushing.  
  
"Same." I said. When he blushed, a thought already came to my mind. He likes me? In my mind I know that I can't take it anymore. I'm already having my problems with Harry and then Ron comes along telling me he likes me. I wouldn't really appreciate that. I just hope he wouldn't.  
  
"Umm.. Hermione." he stuttered.  
  
Uh oh!  
  
"What is it?" I asked nervously. No! Don't! Don't like me please! I remembered the time in my third year when Ron got mad at me when I was with Viktor in the Yule Ball. Then the other times when he gets mad when I tutor some guys. It really matches. He likes me! But I could be wrong right?  
  
"I like you." He blurted out.  
  
I paled. I know I couldn't let him go without an answer.  
  
I smiled at him sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said and I turned away not wanting to see the sad look in one of my bestfriend's eye.  
  
"Why?" he asked.  
  
Because I love Harry, my mind screamed but I couldn't tell him that so I remained quiet.  
  
"You love Harry, don't you?" He asked me.  
  
I was shocked. How did he knew? I never told him anything.  
  
"How?"  
  
He gave a sad chuckle.  
  
"It's quite obvious. I was always looking for you and many times I can see you staring at him. The others were oblivious to it but we've spent so many times and I knew the look you're giving him was the same look I was giving you." He said sadly.  
  
Now, I really felt sorry for Ron. If only I could control my feelings, I would have told it to just return the feelings to Ron but I know I can't.  
  
"Are you mad?" I asked softly. I don't want our friendship to be ruined by this.  
  
"Mad? Me?" He asked while laughing but I can see that there was a tear that leaked in his eyes. "Nope! Maybe sad, but only a little. So, want me to help you with Harry?" He asked.  
  
It was so kind of him to me that but no, Harry won't be happy with me so I shook my head vigorously.  
  
"Don't bother. Harry won't have a wonderful time with me. Cho makes him happy so let them be." I told him sadly.  
  
"But." he tried to explain but I didn't let him.  
  
"I'll be fine. Really." I gave him a smile to reassure him.  
  
He sighed and said, "Ok. But if ever you want me to help, just tell me and I'll be there."  
  
Those words. Those were the same words Harry told me. I wanted to cry but I don't want Ron to see me.  
  
"I'll go upstairs now. I'm feeling sleepy." I faked a yawn. "Good night." And I ran upstairs.  
  
I just cried myself to sleep. Harry will never be mine.  
  
Up to now, I know that you will never be mine. A part of me is happy cause you are. But a part of me kept on weeping sadly for I didn't have the time to be with you. Luckily, our friendship is still there, as strong as ever. I guess I just have to depend on our friendship, forever.  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well, it's finished. If ever you want a conclusion for this, just ask me. If ever I have enough reviews telling me to do so, then I will post it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. 

Author's Note: Well, I've decided not to end it yet. *grins* So, there'll still be about three more chapters before I end it.

Harry's POV 

I was alone all my life. I never had any friends and my cousin made sure of that. I always dreamt what it would be like to have someone care about me, to have someone by my side, and to have someone worth fighting for. In my mind, I know that there will come a time that I will meet someone like that, just like my dad met my mom. 

Sitting at the train, I wondered if I could meet someone like that in this mysterious place where I'm going. My thought was answered when you entered our compartment. Ron and I were talking to each other animatedly. He was telling me about how the school would be like when suddenly you came barging in. When I first laid my eyes on you, I knew there was something connecting the two of us. There was an urge in my heart telling me that I should get to know you. You talked asking me where a certain frog was. I was mesmerized by your voice. I never wanted you to stop talking but I can sense that Ron was a bit annoyed. I really don't know why. When you left us, he started telling me how bossy you are. I wanted to argue but it would be of no use so I just shrugged.

We never became friends. You were always in front of your books studying and never have any fun for your life. I wanted to ask you if you would like to join us but I know Ron wouldn't like that. It was hopeless so I decided to ignore it. One time, Ron insulted you, about you having no friends. I know how it feels like and the time I saw you run made my heart ache. When the announcement came that there was a troll, I knew I had to save you. I couldn't let you die. When we saved you, I was overwhelmed with relief. I was so relieved that you're all right. And that was the start of our friendship.

Years passed and I soon realized that my feelings for you never wavered. Instead it grew a lot stronger. I told my self a lot of times that it wouldn't work out, that you only treated me as a friend. I had a lot of crushes but my adoration for them never came close to how much I admire you. You were different. I've always wanted you but you've never wanted me.

The Yule Ball – I was planning to ask you in that but I never had the courage. Instead I asked someone whom I like at that time, Cho Chang. Actually, when she didn't agree when I asked her, it was all right. After all, she's not you. You were the only girl I ever wanted to be with but there were so many barriers on the way. And one of them happens to be my other best friend.

A few nights before the Yule Ball, I found Ron sitting on his bed pondering about something. 

_"Hey Ron! Something wrong?" I asked him._

_"Well, you know, it's about Hermione." Ron sighed._

_My breath was caught in my throat. I've known for some time that Ron has developed a crush on Hermione._

_"What's wrong?" I asked him. I want to help him but I don't know if I can. I've loved Hermione for so long and that might come in the way while I help Ron._

_"Well, ummm… I kinda want to ask her in the ball." He said._

_A part of me wants to tell him, 'Why not go ask her?' and the other part wants to strangle him. It was so hard for me. After all, he is my best friend. An inner battle was held inside me. In the end, the first part won._

_"Well, why don't you go and ask her?" I told him even if it was hard for me._

_"Umm… I don't think I can." He told me gloomily._

_"Why not? It isn't that hard. Hermione's our best friend." I told. Yeah, our best friend but of course, I wanted the two of us to be more that friends but I know we can't._

_Ron sighed. "I'll try. Thanks, by the way." He yawned. "I'm going to bed already. Good night."_

_"Good night."_

_I wanted to curse fate for being like this. Why did this have to happen? Why did I have to love the same girl my best friend likes? I know I won't be able to find answers, so I just slept._

Ron never had the courage to ask you. I felt sorry for him yet happy at the same time. It really took a lot of me to prevent my lips from smiling when Ron told me he didn't. But my heart took a serious blow when I saw you with Viktor Krum. I was heart broken in short. But I saw that you were happy. You were having a good time with him. I masked my face and put up a façade. I was smiling, but smiling sadly was more like it. Nobody noticed and I'm glad for that. Meanwhile, Ron was fuming beside me. I know he was jealous but he wouldn't admit it.

That year passed. A lot of emotions were swirled in my head. Fear and guilt were the most dominant. Cedric just died and Voldemort rose again. It was my fault and at that time nobody not even you or Ron can convince me that it wasn't. My love for you was momentarily forgotten. I spent that year mourning until you made me realize how wrong I was in doing so…

It was nearly midnight. I was sitting in front of the fireplace in the Common Room. Again, I was thinking about the Third Task, which happened a year ago. Then the noise of footsteps coming came. I just ignored them.

_"Harry? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked me while she sat beside me._

_"Thinking."_

_"About?"_

_"The tournament." I answered shortly. _

_Normally, you would have just hugged me and comfort me. Everyone does. I do appreciate it but it's not really what I need. I hate whenever someone pities me. I was so shocked on what you did._

_You yelled at me._

_"Harry! It's been a year, for goodness sake." You said in a somewhat loud voice._

_At that time, I don't know what to do, be angry or what._

_But suddenly you talked in a softer tone, "What happened in the tournament is nothing in your control. You couldn't have prevented it."_

_I was just about to tell her that if only I didn't tell Cedric to take the Cup then he wouldn't have died but you raised a hand telling me to stop._

_"I know what you're going to say but you didn't know. You didn't know that the cup was a portkey. If I was there at that time, I might have done the same." You said and then you embraced me._

_I cried cause I knew she was right. I just didn't want to accept it. After sometime, you spoke,_

_"You know, you're wasting what Cedric sacrificed. Cedric's life was taken and you're just sitting there and mourning. So, you're saying that the next time Voldemort kills someone, you're not going to do something but cry."_

_I was struck by your words and a new light dawned on to me._

_"Harry, Cedric wouldn't want you to be like that. Even your parents wouldn't want that. What you can to do is to study. I can help you in that. We can search for spells or curses that might be helpful in battle so that next time Voldemort attacks, we're prepared."_

_You're right. I'm wasting my time._

On the summer of that year, I decided to teach myself. Before I went home, I went to find a spell in the Restricted Sections of the library and fortunately, I found it. It was a charm placed so that the ministry won't be able to detect me from using magic. The last thing I need is to be expelled.

When I arrived at home, I know the Dursleys would again lock my trunk and other things. I snuck my wand out so when they went away, I got my things. Night or day, I studied. I even went to the public library, which happens to be near us to borrow a book teaching how to fight.

My training changed a lot in me both physically and mentally. I barely thought of it, actually, but that was when I came to the Hogwarts Express.

"Oh my gosh, Harry! What happened to you?" Lavender said while passing by me. She kept her eye on me while I gave her a puzzled look. Parvati, who happens to be beside her, gave a little shriek.

'Geez, people these days! Really weird.' I thought. I really thought they were weird until Hermione herself told me.

"Harry? Is that you?" A girl with a voice very familiar to me said. I turned around and became really shocked.

'Whoa! Hermione's become more prettier.' I thought and blushed. I scolded myself inwardly and placed that thought at the back of my mind.

"Yup! It's me alright." I replied cheerfully.

"You changed." She said simply and gave me a little smile.

"So have you." I replied.

That was a really weird experience. But what's even weirder was when Cho came to me. To put it simply, she asked me out at the middle of the term. I said okay because it might help me to get over my feelings for Hermione. After about six months, I knew that going out with Cho didn't help. It didn't help me getting over Hermione. At some point, it even made my love for her stronger. I knew I wasn't fair to her so I decided to break it up.

It was already six months since we started going out.

"Hi Harry!" Cho said when she saw me.

During out relationship, I've noticed that she changed but those changed weren't for the better.

"Umm…Hi." I said nervously.

"Something wrong?" she asked a little flirtatious.

"Well, you see… ummm…I… I think we need to break up."

Cho's head perked up at this.

"Why?" she asked sadly. I knew that that Cho was the same as the one whom I liked before.

"I don't think it's working out." I said simply. I wanted to say it in a nicer way but those were the words that came out of my mouth.

I thought Cho was going to take it well when suddenly tears started to stream down her face.

"First, Cedric. Now, you…" she said softly.

So that was what caused her to change.

"Cho, Cedric never really left. His body maybe gone and you may never see him again but he's still alive in you. He's still in your heart and that's what's matters. Believe me." I told her.

She gave me a weak smile. I hugged her cause I know that she'll need that.

After those incidents, our life came back to becoming normal until one day.

It was one sunny day…

We were having our class with Hagrid in the school grounds. Students were chatting merrily when suddenly the clouds grumbled. Darkness enveloped the sky. Many were frightened; after all, it's not a common phenomenon. The only reason I can think of for this occurrence is a very alarming one – _Voldemort_. I looked around frantically trying to prove myself that my assumption is not right but to my horror, Voldemort walked proudly from my left side. When I looked on Hogwarts, I saw the professors gathering outside,

"Go! All of you! Get inside Hogwarts!" Hagrid boomed. (AN: Sorry! Don't know how to write with his accent)

Author's Note: Well, I'll end it there. Tell me what you think. (As you may have noticed, I don't really like Ron so forgive me if I neglect him at times) If you have suggestions, then write it on your reviews. If you want to email me, sure! My email add is in my bio. If you want me to email you once I *manage* to get the next chapter out, tell me. And once again, don't forget to review!!!!


	3. REAL Chapter 3

Author's Note: Sorry..... Disclaimer: Only the plot's mine. Everything else is theirs.  
  
It was one sunny day... We were having our class with Hagrid in the school grounds. Students were chatting merrily when suddenly the clouds grumbled. Darkness enveloped the sky. Many were frightened; after all, it's not a common phenomenon. The only reason I can think of for this occurrence is a very alarming one – Voldemort. I looked around frantically trying to prove myself that my assumption is not right but to my horror, Voldemort walked proudly from my left side. When I looked on Hogwarts, I saw the professors gathering outside, "Go! All of you! Get inside Hogwarts!" Hagrid boomed.  
  
Third Person Point of View  
Screams were heard all around the place. Students, first to seventh are panicking. All the professors were trying to keep the students safe. Voldemort is coming. "I have come to finish what I have started." He yelled maliciously. "It's time for you to die, Harry Potter." Harry felt, not fear, but something else. It was something indescribable. "He's right. So many people have died because of this war. It's time to end." He mumbled to himself. "Whatever happens.... This has to end." He said a little louder this time. Of all the people with him, it was Hermione who heard him. "Harry?" she said softly. "Whatever you're planning, please don't." She told him while her tears started gathering in her eyes. "Hermione..." Harry said. He couldn't stand seeing her crying. It hurts him. "Please don't cry." "If you really don't want me to cry, then please don't go." She pleaded. Her whole being is telling him not to go. He would have listened but the urge to finish all this was really strong. And besides, he's doing it not only for himself, but also for others, especially for her. "Hermione," he said while embracing her, "what I'm gonna do is not only for me. But also for you guys. Don't you wanna live a happy life? Life without any Voldemort to ruin it? A happy life with your family?"  
  
Hermione's POV  
I wanted to yell at him. Yell at him my feelings for him. How can he tell me that if he do this, I'll have a happy. I don't care if Voldemort's around! As long as he's here with me, I'll be fine. I may seem like a selfish brat but I don't care anymore! I love him more than anything else!  
  
"How can I have a happy life without you?!" Hermione said desperately.  
  
There! I've finally said it.  
  
Harry's POV  
"How can I have a happy life without you?!" Hermione said desperately.  
  
Life without you... It pains me. I never had a life with her. Yes, maybe as friends but I've always yearned for something more. Now, she's telling me that. It seems like she loves me too, right? But it can't be possible. She deserves someone much better than I am. Me? I'm just plain ol' Harry Potter. I can never be right for her. She's just perfect for me. Asking for her would be too much.  
  
Third Person POV  
"It doesn't matter whether I'm here or not." Harry said sadly. "It's my destiny."  
"So what?! Destiny doesn't tell us what to do. You can always change your destiny. Please! Stay with us." Then Hermione mumbled something softly. "Stay with me. Please."  
It was barely audible but Harry heard it.  
He was about to say something but it seems that Voldemort has finally arrived.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry if it's short. Sorry if it's been a long time. I'm really very sorry! I'll try to update faster next time. 


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